The Acapulco Resort near Kyrenia – the must-visit resort that all my neighbours recommended when we first arrived on the island. With its water slides, pools, sandy beach and all-inclusive meals, it promised to be a fun weekend.

I’ll be honest, resorts aren’t really my thing. I prefer smaller hotels with fewer people. But Goobie’s best friend is leaving the island next month, so both families decided to treat them to a fun weekend together.

The first thing to know is that, at this time of year, you can’t stay at the Acapulco for a weekend. There’s a minimum 3-night policy – which totally conflicts with the whole going-to-school thing. We wanted to leave straight after school pick-up on the Friday and get back home on the Sunday evening. Weirdly, I didn’t fancy a two-hour Monday-morning commute from Kyrenia.

I sent an exceedingly sycophantic email to the Acapulco and, after getting approval from the hotel manager, managed to book a two-night stay for €105 a night, half board (prices vary). It was a good deal – we got in just before the rates go up for the summer.

We’ve been to the Acapulco before – during the half-term break last October. I was 36 weeks pregnant and had just been told that I’d been booked in for a C-section because Herc was still breech (you can read the story here). I enjoyed my last stay but it passed in a blur of anxiety and spending time upside-down trying to get him to turn. This time I was going to enjoy the Acapulco properly.

Occupying a large area of coastline near Catalköy, the Acapulco is roughly a 30-minute drive from Kyrenia (the traffic can be bad on that stretch of road). And it’s HUGE! The hotel rooms are in three areas – the main block attached to the casino, Pine Court and a little village of cute bungalows among the trees. I’ve stayed in both the main block and Pine Court. The rooms are spacious, smartly furnished and have balconies and large en-suites. Plus there’s a mini-bar and TV – though who has time to watch TV in a place like this??

One of the first things we did was hit the pool. There’s a great adults-only infinity pool overlooking the sea but we weren’t adults-only so didn’t get to go in it.

The family pool is massive and in two sections – the main section where there are water games and aqua zumba, and a smaller area with a few water slides and loads of sun loungers. This was where we spent most of our time. There weren’t any queues for slides here, I could feed Herc in the shade and there was a great poolside cafe for having lunch.

A tip for breastfeeding mamas when using the water slides: don’t assume a rash guard will stop you from flashing the entire resort as the water slide spits you into the pool. My rash guard ended up around my neck. Along with my bikini top. Only my too-tight swimsuit kept my bosoms in – a silver lining to my recent Misery in My Mall.

We discovered something amazing in that pool – how to get Herc to sleep in 10 minutes flat. The secret was his new baby inflatable. He LOVES it. He spent ages chilling out, unable to stop his eyes closing as he bobbed along.

The Acapulco’s Aqua Park was the main attraction for the children. This is where the big water slides and splash pools are. There’s something for all ages here. We headed for the cobra slide and joined a throng of people waiting to go on it. The queue was hard to identify – my personal hell. But the cobra slide was fun and I was keen for another go.

‘Well that was absolutely terrifying. I’m never going on that again,’ said Goobie matter-of-factly.

And that was that. He found his best friend and disappeared into the crowd. Matt was with Herc. I was on my own.

Note to self: if you want to enjoy fun stuff with your son, don’t come with his best friend. He will always choose his best friend. And he’s not even a teenager yet. A chilling thought.

Feeling a tad abandoned, I joined the queue for the big water slide bowl thing. And stayed there for 20 minutes in the scorching sun. There was no shade. I estimated how long it took each person to use and get off the slide – around 2-3 minutes. There were at least 12 people ahead of me and I realised I was going to be there for another half an hour. So I gave up. There’s a similar slide at Fasouri Water Park that I could go on any time.

There wasn’t a queue for the slides nearby, so I jumped onto the nearest one that would take me to the bottom without any fuss. I realised as I was half way down that I was going incredibly fast and still accelerating. I was on the Kamikaze. I hit the water at the wrong angle and busted my coccyx. I’ve been on ibuprofen 3 x daily ever since.

As well as pools and water parks, there’s also a mini kids’ club, a mini disco and a football pitch to play on. Plus a children’s playground and a small shopping area next to the casino. We were on Planet Acapulco and it had everything we needed. Except perhaps a cure for a busted coccyx.

And of course, there’s the sea. The beach and sea bed are sandy, with few rocks. The sea only deepens gradually, making it perfect for children to play in. Herc had his first ever swim in the sea.

There are sun loungers on the beach, loos and a large restaurant for chilling in. A big screen was showing the football while we were there.

Dinner was in a massive restaurant. Getting to the restaurant involved a walk down a long path filled with kittens and photographers. The photographers charged for their services (€6 a photo), the kittens didn’t. There were more kittens when we went in October, all eager for cuddles. I wondered where most of them had gone in the six months since we last stayed.

The selection of food was also massive. I’ve never seen anything like it. They had everything – salads, sushi, fried stuff, baked stuff, veggie stuff, meat stuff. Soon, we were all stuffed. Breakfast was so huge that we didn’t need lunch.

Of course, the highlight was dessert. I themed my dessert by colour – because I could! Pink desserts were my favourite, particularly the Angel Delight goo. Yum!

Weighing 10 kilos heavier, we took an evening stroll after dinner. The hotel puts on various entertainment in the evenings, including a show in the ampitheatre by the beach. Goobie was tired so we didn’t stay, but it looked fun.

There’s also the Luna Park – a collection of fairground rides for young children. We skipped that too.

For grown-ups there’s the casino, which I wandered into last time. I looked around, pretending I understood what the heck everyone was doing, then I walked out again as nonchalantly as I could. I’m a 2p-slot-machine girl. Matt’s the same, though he won’t admit it. He went there with the guys one night. They played and lost.

There’s also a small nightclub. I spent an hour or so in there with the ladies in October. We were the only ones on the dance floor but the music was great, so I didn’t care.

However, my favourite evening activity was a walk along the beach. Under the moonlight, you can see crabs riding the waves. The children were mesmerised. And so were we.

Everything about the Acapulco is big. Big meals, big buildings, big pools, big slides. Lots of people. I usually find this impersonal and overwhelming. And yet while we were there, we had some really special moments. The look on Herc’s face when he went in the sea for the first time. Goobie’s excitement as he enjoyed a two-day play date with his best friend. Chats over a glass of wine with our friends. And for me, returning to the place I’d been too stressed to fully enjoy the first time around. This time with baby in tow.