Six nights, six hotels! We go on a whistle-stop tour of incredible Jordan. First stop – the Dead Sea. Can you really, properly float in it? Will Goobie manage to keep the salty water out of his eyes? And will we ever wash off all the Dead Sea mud from Herc’s nether regions? It was quite a start to our holiday.

We procrastinated for a year over visiting Jordan. The unrest in Jordan’s neighbouring countries – Syria, Iraq and Israel – made me uneasy. But then Ryanair started cheap flights from Cyprus to Jordan’s capital, Amman. My friends and neighbours started going – and their experiences reassured me that Jordan was an amazing and safe country to visit. So, for the grand total of €19 a plane ticket, we flew into Amman’s swish airport for what was to be an incredible holiday.

I will point out from the off that there was one thing we got right about this trip and one thing we got wrong:

Going in October was the PERFECT time – the reasons will become clear.

Going for six days was a mistake – we needed at least 10 days. Our itinerary was packed, there was no downtime and we had to skip things.

Also, we would have got better deals/choice if we’d booked earlier. We did most of our booking the week before.

We chose to hire a car and drive ourselves around Jordan. We picked up the car from the airport and drove an hour to the Dead Sea.

A few tips for driving in Jordan:

1. They drive on the right. This took a while to get used to and roundabouts were a total mindf**k. But we didn’t crash the car.
2. We didn’t crash the car because the two main highways – the King’s Highway and the Desert Highway – were really empty and easy to drive along.
3. Use a sat nav. We used the one on Matt’s phone and it helped us navigate the roads through the towns. The main tourist sites are well signposted but, with everything else to concentrate on, the sat nav made things easier.
4. Keep your passport nearby – there are police checks on the roads. Don’t panic if you are waved down. We saw this happen loads of times and it seemed standard. Plus all the officials we met were really nice.
5. Road markings are either faded or non-existent which makes knowing which lane you are in sometimes hard to judge. No biggy if you keep it slow.
6. Watch out for the speed bumps – they are in unexpected places, like on the highway. They are signposted but as road markings are poor, I tended not to see them until I was on top of them.

Driving in Jordan was easy on the whole and we wouldn’t have wanted to get around any other way.

We drove to the Dead Sea via Madaba, a town famous for its mosaics. Many people opt to stay here rather than Amman – we didn’t have time to stay in either. We drove out of Madaba and over the mountains, west towards the Dead Sea. It was the evening so we didn’t get to see the view, which was a shame as I bet it would have been spectacular. We drove past the sign to Mount Nebo, the place where Moses looked out across the Promised Land. Despite not being a Christian, I went to Sunday School for years as a child and it would have been interesting to have visited the biblical sites of Jordan. But, guess what? No time.

About half an hour from Madaba, we reached the Dead Sea. It was just a black expanse, lit up with the lights of the many luxury hotel resorts along its shores. Our hotel was the Holiday Inn, chosen because the Lonely Planet said it had the easiest access to the sea for children. Apparently at other places there can be a bit of a hike down to the shore.

The Holiday Inn at the Dead Sea was like no Holiday Inn we’d ever stayed in before! It was gorgeous! Huge atrium with floor-to-ceiling windows, lounges and restaurants. You have to go through a security check to get in, a bit like in an airport. Bag scanners etc. It was a little alarming at first but all the big hotels have them and I think it’s to provide reassurance. Jordan’s tourism industry has suffered because of the unrest in its neighbouring countries.

Our room was great, gorgeously decorated and with all the mod-cons you’d expect from a 5-star hotel. It cost around €150 a night – more than we’d usually pay for a hotel, but it was convenient and well located. Perfect for when you are on a whistle-stop tour.

We walked to the restaurant through manicured lawns and over a bridge that spanned one of the Holiday Inn’s many pools. The main restaurant did a fabulous, all-you-can-eat buffet. We quite literally stuffed our faces. Then went to bed.

Despite the late night, Goobie was up and bouncing before 7am, eager for his first glimpse of the Dead Sea. After eating a massive breakfast, we navigated the many pathways and steps through the hotel grounds down to the shore of the Dead Sea.

And there it was below, a sheet of still water, glinting in the sun.

The Holiday Inn has a private beach with sun loungers, showers and bowls of Dead Sea mud. Many of the luxury hotels, including the Holiday Inn, sell day passes for non-residents to use their beaches – or there are also public beaches further along the shore.

A few interesting facts about the Dead Sea:

It’s the lowest place on Earth.

It’s a lake not a sea.

It’s the saltiest lake in the world – its salinity is 30%. As such, nothing can live in it.

It is shrinking due to less rainfall, the construction of new dams and evaporation.

King Herod used it as a health resort.

The world-famous mud found on the shores of the Dead Sea is great for the skin.

We started with the mud. I watched a hotel guy scoop up loads of the dark brown gooey stuff from the sea shore and take it to two large vats on the beach. The plan is to cover your entire body with it and let it dry in the sun. You then wash it off in the sea. You come out feeling radiant.

That was the plan.

What actually happened was that in a moment of utter madness, I thought it would be fun to let Herc play around in the mud. Baby sensory and all that. While Matt, Goobie and I covered ourselves in mud, Herc tentatively patted it, uncertain whether he approved. Excited, Goobie rushed up and dumped a load of mud on Herc’s head. The mud feels a bit tingly on the skin. Herc didn’t like the tingles. He touched his face with his mud-coated hands. Disaster. He let rip.

My mud didn’t get a chance to dry. It came off under the beach shower as I tried desperately to wash a wriggling mud-creature.

What had I been thinking??!!

Radiant, my arse.

Exhausted after his traumatic mud-fest, Herc fell asleep on a shaded sun lounger for a couple of hours. While he slept, Matt and I took turns going in the Dead Sea with Goobie.

It’s a very unique experience walking into the Dead Sea. You paddle, paddle, paddle, going in deeper. And then when you are out of your depth, a weird thing happens. It’s like the sea gently wraps around you, giving you a hug. You bob up slightly, held from sinking by the sea. It’s a gentle, soothing feeling.

I attempted to swim but I felt unbalanced being on my stomach and was worried about getting water in my eyes. I rolled over onto my back and sank into the Dead Sea’s embrace. At first it was hard to let go and trust that you wouldn’t sink, but once you do it’s wonderful. Goobie and I bobbed on our backs for ages, looking out across the still water to Israel on the opposite shore.

Here are some Dead Sea tips that my neighbours shared with me, which we found useful:

– Wear old swimmers. The mud stains them.

– Do not get sea water in your eyes! It is agony. It didn’t happen to us as we were forewarned, but I saw it happen to an American lady who didn’t realise and washed her face in it. She said it stung like hell. I was an idiot with Herc and the mud, but there was no way I was taking him into the sea and risk the water getting into his eyes.

– Take a bottle of water down to the shore with you. Then if you get sea water in your eyes, you can wash it out quickly.

– It will also really sting if the sea water gets into any wounds. Goobie had loads of scrapes on his body after falling off his bike the week before. We covered them in Vaseline and amazingly this stopped the water getting at them. He didn’t feel any stinging at all.

– Don’t shave before going in the Dead Sea – for reasons above.

– Ladies, keep your legs together. Otherwise it stings for a few minutes. I made this mistake.

– Use a beach with showers so that you can wash all the salt off afterwards.

October was the perfect time to visit. Temperatures can soar into the 40s in summer, but it was early 30s when we went. Not unbearably hot for fun in the sea. And as we were to discover, other parts of Jordan were a lot cooler. If we’d visited any later in the year, the cooler areas would have been too cold. In October, we didn’t experience any extremes of temperature.

If we did this trip again, knowing what was coming next, we would have ended our trip at the Dead Sea when its restorative benefits would have been more necessary!

We loved our time at the Dead Sea. Things we would have done if we’d stayed longer:

– Had a spa day at the hotel

– Visited Bethany, the site where John the Baptist baptised Jesus

– Visited Mount Nebo

– Hiked the canyons along Wadi Mujib

– Spent a couple of nights at the Ma’in Hot Springs Resort inland further along the coast. It looks awesome!

Next stop: PETRA!!!