It’s been a great year for snowy mountain fun. I’ve been able to see Troodos’s snow-capped peak from my home on the coast and we’ve been up a couple of times for sledging, skiing – and snowboarding.
Why snowboarding? Two answers:
Spoiler: I did not look cool doing it.
The ski slopes are at the top of Mount Olympus. Drive to Troodos Square and follow the signs. Depending on weather conditions, you might only be allowed there if you have a 4×4 or snow chains. Check beforehand on the Cyprus Ski website.
In order to hire your snowboard, you will need to put yourself through Ski Hire Hell. I have written quite a lengthy post about Ski Hire Hell before. You will find it here.
Ski Hire Hell is the process of queuing up, entering the Ski Hire building, getting your equipment, getting your ski/board boots on (no mean feat), paying. And then exiting the building. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? If you follow these crucial tips, you should be in and out within an hour:
1. Go during the week if you can. It is SO much more . . . sane.
2. If you can only go during the weekend then make sure you are in the Ski Hire Hell queue for BANG ON 8AM. Ideally a little earlier. Get there for 9 or 10am and you’ll be in the queue for a couple of hours.
3. Only bring children in a Good Mood. With lots of extra Good Mood for when it starts to be used up. Which it will be within five minutes of queuing. Bring an extra bag of Good Mood for yourself too.
4. Don’t forget your face mask and check latest restrictions regarding whether you need a SafePass – we needed one to get in the building but it’s a changing situation.
5. Bring your own helmet if you have one. You can’t hire them. Try Lidl.
6. Once you have your boots, TRY THEM ON BEFORE LEAVING THE BUILDING. Ski boot sizes are not real world sizes – and if they don’t fit you can have them changed quickly IF YOU ARE STILL INSIDE THE BUILDING. If you aren’t, it’s Ski Hire Hell all over again – and it won’t be 8am anymore. But surely no one’s stupid enough to make this mistake? Yes I am.
7. Don’t forget to buy your ski lift passes when you pay.
We started queuing at 8am precisely (and we are never on time for anything!) and there were already 20-odd people ahead of us. However, when it comes to Ski Hire Hell, Covid is our friend. Covid restrictions limit how many people are allowed in the Ski Hire building at any one time. Which means that we have been saved from considerable amounts of angst playing the game How-Many-People-Can-We-Fit-in-a-Ski-Hire-Building.
We hired four pairs of boots, three pairs of skis (plus sticks), one snowboard and two lift passes (standard and baby lift) – all for the price of 81 euros. No idea how that compares to other ski resorts.
We took all our gear to the beginner slope just down the hill from the Ski Hire building. On the way you walk past the ski school huts where you can arrange lessons.
Crucial tip: If you want a snowboarding lesson, book in advance. If you are told you don’t need to book and can just show up first thing on the day, DON’T BELIEVE THEM. Insist on booking in advance.
I made this mistake. It was 9am by the time we’d exited the Ski Hire building and I went to the school huts, proudly holding my snowboard and feeling well cool.
And was told that the instructor was busy with other students.
It seemed that some of the 20-odd people ahead of me in the ski hire queue also wanted to snowboard. The chap who runs the ski school was very helpful and introduced me to another snowboarding instructor who said that he might be able to fit me in. No guarantees though as his day was full of lessons with people who’d booked in advance.
Argghhhh!!!!!!!
So I hung around for an hour with a snowboard I didn’t even know how to put on.
‘How hard can it be??!!’ I wailed. And joined Matt, Goobie and Herc on the nursery slope.
We all studied the snowboard and I sat down and clipped my feet into the foot things. Matt pulled me up.
I only realised when I started sliding downwards that the ground wasn’t flat.
‘Argh!’
‘I’ll help you!’ Goobie offered gallantly and skied over to me.
His ski got jammed under my board and we collapsed in a pile. And couldn’t get up.
Matt let go of Herc’s hand and tried to pull us to our feet.
Herc disappeared down the slope on his little baby skis.
‘Hello!’ said a cheery voice. A lovely lady who lives in my neighbourhood was skiing past with her children, all in a perfect row.
I said hello from my pile on the ground and watched Matt run after Herc.
Cool we were not.
I gave up trying to teach myself Snowboard and instead stalked the snowboarding instructor until he’d finished his current lesson.
Then FINALLY I was told I could have a lesson. It was really nice of him actually as he wasn’t the instructor I’d tried to book with and he let me join a group lesson. 30 euros for the hour.
The lesson was on the nursery slope. And it was RAMMED. Full of other students having lessons. Full of people trying to catch their AWOL four-year-olds on skis.
We found a small stretch of clear slope and I was shown how to attach my board, how to get it going and, crucially, how to stop. To stop you need to kick your leg round and bring the board horizontal, then lean slightly on its back edge.
It looked so simple.
Ha!
I lost count of how many times I fell over. But falling over felt . . . tidier on a snowboard. No long skis twisting your legs in opposite directions.
In the end I found a far more effective way to stop.
A tree.
But this was not the worst of my problems. No, it was the people randomly skiing through our stretch of slope as I was snowboarding down it. Totally oblivious. I was still learning how to stop and I didn’t know how to steer the board out of their way. There was only one thing I could do.
Go splat.
Throwing myself to the ground was the quickest way to avoid a collision. But it was dead annoying. I couldn’t relax into the feeling of snowboarding and it got to the point where I’d tense every time someone entered my peripheral vision. And would then go splat.
It was frustrating.
Crucial tip: if you can, book a lesson midweek when the slopes are emptier.
Despite the frustrations, my lesson was worth it as it taught me the basics. I just needed to practice – on an emptier slope. So we returned midweek during the half term holidays and had a wonderful day. It was so much calmer and emptier. I had the space to properly go down a slope without worrying about collisions. And I started to get the hang of it. It was exhilarating.
Did I prefer it to skiing? Possibly, yes. But it’s easier to get further with skiing – and until I get better at snowboarding, I can have more fun on skis.
But I progressed okay on our second visit. I even managed to stop – properly – a few times.
Steering though?
That’s for another day.
If you wear mascara, check it’s waterproof. I went to the loo after returning my snowboard and looked in the mirror and . . . TOTAL MORTIFICATION!! It was like a toddler had drawn thick fake eyelashes all round my eyes. In black felt tip. And everyone was too polite to tell me. Including my husband, the arse.
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